God Unleashes Plague of Nematodes!

God has looked down upon the iniquity of the fig trees, and has unleashed a series of terrible plagues to smite them down. All right-thinking readers should rejoice at the thought of the terrible vengeance that God is visiting upon these wayward woods. Fig-eaters and their apologists will tell you that these diseases are just a coincidence, and that they affect other kinds of trees as well. But the righteous know God's judgement when they see it.

Not least among the plagues which God has seen fit to afflict is a terrible kind of parasitic worm known as a nematode. This sickness causes the roots of figs grown in sandy soil to develop "galls." As a result, the fig trees grow slowly if at all. The y develop a sickly appearance, and their leaves turn yellow. This is God's way of saying "die, you bastard, die!"

There is currently no cure for nematodes, which are very numerous in dry soil. The only way to reclaim the soil is to grow crops that have God's blessing, such as tobacco.

But also, God has sent fungi to give fig trees blights on their leaves and stems, as well as stem cankers and leaf spots! These fungi particularly prey on fig trees that have been affected by excessive cold. Also, God inflicts a disease known as anthra cnose on fig trees, causing the fruit to become discolored and shrunken. Sometimes the fruit drops prematurely, in a mummified state.

Don't be fooled by the fig-lovers! These plagues are only the first warning of the mass destruction that is to come. God has given up the entire genus of fig trees to iniquity and sin, and those that consume these fruits will likewise be stricken. Your only hope is to renounce!

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